Wednesday, 4 July 2012


I love looking at the things people searched to get to my blog:

The fact that not one but two people felt the need to type 'hairy gross man' into Google absolutely cracks me up. And the three people who searched for 'nice guys eyebrows' must have been really disappointed when they clicked the link and found out that it was not, in fact, a blog filled with pictures of sexy eyebrows (??) but simply a collection of posts about the life of the world's most boring person.

But it is a bit creepy, making people's search terms public like that.

So! Anyway!

I have received two rejection emails from the lowest-rung jobs I have applied to. Even ASDA won't take me. They happily employed my antisocial eighty-year-old next door neighbour as a checkout lady, even though she constantly chews gum and calls her solicitor every time a leaf blows over our fence and into her garden ... but they won't even employ me - friendly, polite, hard-working me - to put yoghurts and toilet rolls onto a shelf. What is this world coming to?

I finally got around to filling in the form to start claiming Job Seeker's Allowance. It's a depressing thing to have to do, because it's basically admitting to myself, "Fuck, I can't get a job! I am literally unemployable!" Also I'll have to go to a load of meetings to prove that I'm looking for a job rather than just pretending to so I can sponge money off of them. When in fact, I would do literally anything if they'd just give me a chance  -  I would be a professional armpit-sniffer if it gave me a paycheck and something to do with my life!

Mainly I just feel useless. I'm a graduate with a 2:1 and I can't even get a job as a trolley-pusher. It's not even about the money, it's just feeling like I was lied to all through school and college when I was told I'd get a good job one day if I worked hard. Well, I could have dropped out of school and still had some chance at getting at least a job. Now, I'm considered overqualified for half the jobs and too inexperienced for the other half. I feel lazy and like I'm just leeching off of John and my parents.

So wow, this really really sucks! 

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